EVERY DAY

It wasn’t some massive wrenching pain. Just a twinge, but a familiar one. It was a slight pinch in my back that came in the midst of doing nothing of any great exertion. Simply stepping into the shower this time. I remember mumbling under my breath, “Uh oh.” I had become acquainted with this little zinger from past experiences. I did what I always do when he visits. I went about my day, trying to ignore the bit of stiffness and hoping that was the last I’d see of him.

The next morning my hopes were dashed when I could hardly get out of bed. The little zinger had turned into a striking dart overnight. I had been to this place with my little friend, as well. I knew what to do. Just be careful. Take it easy. This is the worst it gets…

Within two hours I was screeching from any movement at all. I thought, “If I could only lie down”, so I did. That ended with me sobbing uncontrollably, writhing and screeching until my husband came and raised me up. So I sat for hours straight up with a pillow folded behind my lower back, my head looking straight ahead and not touching anything. (There was one other incident when I tried to lay down again, which ended the same way as the first, my son being the hero this time.)

It’s amazing what can go through your mind at times of great suffering. In my case, nothing. At least nothing very productive or spiritual. The pain was akin to being electrocuted with a very hot, sharp knife over and over and I could barely think. I doubt I could have even recited the Lord’s Prayer at the time. Okay, I did have one spiritual experience. I thought fleetingly of who I could call to pray for me and felt checked by the Spirit not to. Just being honest here (We have to do that to get anywhere with God), I remember questioning God in my mind, “What could possibly be the purpose for this? I’m sitting here in horrible pain. I can’t get anything done and the worst part is, there’s no one to feel sorry for me because no one even knows!” As Anne of Green Gables would say, I was in the depths of despair.

So I sat. Everyone in the house went about their business and I sat. They would poke their heads in from time to time to see that I wasn’t jerking around on the floor spraying saliva. They made sure I was as comfortable as possible. I would follow them with my eyes, the only body parts I could move. When we are in great physical or emotional distress, there is only so much loved ones can do. Only so far they can go with us. The remainder of the journey becomes internal. We must draw on what we have stored up inside.

Toward evening I felt a real prayer coming on. Now I had been saying Jesus all day. Every time I would accidentally move the wrong way I would scream, “Jesus have mercy!”, or when I would take too deep a breath I would moan, “Oh my God.” But this was a real prayer. At first it only consisted of one word. “Jesus.” And then, “Jesus, take this pain away.” And then, “I praise you, Jesus.”

I was so exhausted from being in the same position all day that I chanced laying down again. There was pain, but no electrical surge. It felt so good to be able to relax my neck. I was laying there with my face toward the back of the couch when I heard the still, small voice, “This is exactly the reason that people should follow me every day. You never know when something will happen that you can’t make the decision.”

There it was. The reason. The lesson. I was relieved that there had been a purpose for the pain. I was embarrassed that I had not sought the Lord more in the midst of it. I was sobered to realize that people will be lost because they wait too late to call on God for help. They think they have enough time, money or resources. They think they can just reach inside themselves for strength, only to find they have nothing in reserve.

I once knew a lady who was not living for the Lord, but knew the Truth. I remember her telling me, “I know I’m not living for God now, but when the Rapture of the Church happens, I’ll do whatever I need to do to be saved.” She was speaking about enduring the Great Tribulation, Mark of the Beast, etc. I was young in the Lord and didn’t know what to say to her then.

Now I am reminded of Jeremiah 12:5, “If thou hast run with the footmen, and they have wearied thee, then how canst thou contend with horses? And if in the land of peace, wherein thou trustedst, they wearied thee, then how will thou do in the swelling of Jordan?”

And so I’m asking you the same question. If you can’t live for God on a daily basis, how will you live for Him when calamity and tragedy come? When you are faced with a life altering reality. If you are finding it difficult to walk with the Lord alongside the footmen of daily frustrations, how will you be able to run alongside the horsemen of chronic sickness or mental illness or bankruptcy or the death of a loved one? If you are finding it too much to serve the Lord while you have friends to serve Him with, how will you follow Him when those friends forsake you and the flood of oppression presses you?

The Christian’s walk with the Lord is a daily walk. With each step you are storing up faith, strength and relationship for the coming trials.  In his book, More Power To You, T. F. Tenney calls it “Divine Plodding.” One foot in front of the other. Every day. Every day. Every day.